Full Capacity

I remember once, explaining what life was like living with Type 1 Diabetes from a psychological view-point to my husband. The only way that I could really do that was to ask him to imagine my brain’s thinking and processing space as a pie graph… hehe, yes albeit a teeny tiny pie graph! But in this case size does not matter as percentages are the ruler here.

So, sometimes work and work stresses may take 40% of my waking mental brain power and thoughts or it may take up 70%-80% on a particularly busy week. You then have the normal day to day chores and basic living requirements such as eating, cleaning etc that may take up only 10%. But! if I am working on a new diet or exercise program that may shoot up to 40% or more as I need to learn new recipes, write a food diary and plan or just basically think about it and get organised. Of course you then have other commitments, obligations and social requirements that on any given week may take up more ‘pie space’.

and then there is Diabetes.

Sometimes on a busy week I can keep the lid on the Big D so as not to take up too much space but as we all know, he is a stubborn so and so and doesn’t always do what he is told.

If Diabetes takes up even 40% of my brain power and even though full capacity can be stretched to 110% or even 120% what happens to everything else in life? My mental capacity to think and deal with these other things shrinks.   I forget where I parked the car in the work car park or that I drove to the shop for a specific item only to not buy it. Maybe, depending on the week it can be something a little more important like missing an appointment or deadline, a birthday or maybe it isn’t about forgetting something at all but  just that you  lose the ability to think/make a decision or process information about a topic that has a lower percentage of the pie.

For me of late, my pie graph has been bulging at the seams. Ready to explode!  My husband and I have decided to sell our house but to do that we need to finish off the renovations and clean and organise and all the rest. I have been living and breathing everything to do with painting, plastering, oiling decks, gardening and the list goes on and on. My husband is a master at these things and I am only the apprentice but I have been so exhausted. And the house is looking fabulous now and I don’t want to leave!

With these renovations and some serious responsibilities at work it becomes a daily chore in pushing back the lines in the pie graph that want to take up more of a percentage. Diabetes has been swept under the drop sheet many a times but sometimes you can’t (hypo, hyper, taking insulin, testing blood sugar levels and the list goes on with daily things that just have to happen) and as you may have noticed (Geez! I hope someone noticed!) that I haven’t been blogging much the last couple of months which says that some things in life just have to drop off at times.

It is hard to choose what gets more pie and sometimes I don’t feel like there is any ‘choice’ at all. But there always is.